I grew up in a dysfunctional family setting in the atmosphere of alcoholism, physical and emotional abuse that came from my father. Without a positive father figure, I was basically developing antisocial behavior and an inclination to violence.
I began to imitate what I was being exposed to, this process of imitation began unconsciously. It affected my interaction with my older brother, classmates, teachers and animals also. Nothing was exempt from the sadistic outpouring of pent up anger and rage!
At the age of 13, I fell into association with similar children, but because they weren’t as driven as I was, I quickly became bored with them. I began to hang out with the young adult type who welcomed my willingness to participate with no reservations in anything under the title of alcohol, drugs, crime, violence and racism. The period of reform school (adolescent jail) began, and that environment also shaped me, refining crime inclination to a full time skill. Violence and racism were honed to razor sharpness...an environment of negativity that fueled my growing rage and hatred of authority, blacks, Jews and Asians. After 3 years of this (reform period) I was released. I was a walking grenade.
Searching for a point of focus to release this rage I became association with paramilitary racist group of young adults. I participated in regular assaults on people and engaged in various criminal activities. At 16, I found myself incarcerated serving a 6 1/2 year sentence in the California Youth Authority for robbery, assault and weapons charges. Immediately I feel in step with the gangs of “white supremacy” and cultivated my rage and anger into pure “Hate” of all people who were not “Anglo Saxon.”
I began correspondence with the KKK, and upon my release on parole, I was a full fledged card carrying hate-monger. For the next 3 to 4 years, my activities were heavily involved in Klan cross-burnings, media appearances, night raids of beatings, property desecrations, etc. My parole was violated for possession of weapons and suspicion of robberies.
This last violation of parole, at the age of 20, the search for peace began. I had so much rage and hatred inside me for so many years, it was beginning to consume me from the inside out. I lashed out at the prison staff in hatred. I had anger and hate literature, graffiti, drawings covering my cell walls and tattoos covering half my upper body. I was not exploding, but imploding!
In a haze of anger and rage, I found myself stripped naked in solitary confinement with not even a mattress. Only me and a styrofoam cup. I began to review my past and the negatives which brought me to this point of reduction to the lowest terms.
While I was there my daughter was born. I began to assess my future. I began thinking of the many victims’ lives I had affected. I could see myself in prison for life if this past were to continue into the future. I said to myself, “Clint, you must make a choice between this evil or a future good.” It was clear to me there was no future (of longevity) in this evil. My family - mother, girlfriend, brothers - were afraid of me. I had become alienated from them. I began searching for a purity to purge the cancer of hate from inside me. I wanted to be loved and to love in a pure sense. I just didn’t want to “Hate” anymore.
I moved to Montana and was arrested for burglary. I was sentenced and served 2 1/2 years of a 5-year sentence, and was then released on parole, which I successfully completed.
I became involved with human rights groups and I started my own human rights group, C.H.E.R.E. (Children Escaping Racist Environments). My goal was to reach out to children to help them escape the environmental circumstances that had overwhelmed me once. I wanted to give back where I was once the problem, but I was still involved in crime. I took part in possession of explosives and was arrested by the federal government and sentenced to 35 months in federal prison.
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