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Thomas Webber, Ex-Christian, UK
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Description: Seeker of truth found Islam as his religion.
By Thomas Webber
Published on 26 Jan 2009 - Last modified on 04 Oct 2009
Viewed: 5179 (daily average: 4) - Rating: 4.2 out of 5 - Rated by: 25
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Men
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Like most reverts to Islam my story is simple from the
perspective of an outsider. Young man finds a religion that’s different to his
family’s and eventually tells them and reverts.
However, like many things in life, it is the travelling
of the journey and not the getting to the destination that seems most hard. Of
course with Islam the journey will never be complete until it is ordained by
Allah, the Exalted, but, instead we reach milestones along the way. So I shall
tell the story of my life until now and my hopes and aspirations for the
future.
I was born in the UK to a family of two loving parents
and one brother (Colin), shortly to be followed by my twin sister (Linda) and
later by my other two sisters Melissa (who died when I was very little) and my
youngest sister Emily.
I was never baptized, as my father did not believe in
putting a baby who could not object, through such a religious ceremony.
However, my mother would send us to a Christian Sunday school to learn about Christianity.
Well, what can I say about that? Unfortunately for my
mother my mind was relatively astute at a young age and as a result I could
never understand why a loving and all powerful God could kill His son to
forgive us our sins.
This was surely not right when if He was so all powerful
and all sins were against Him He could just have forgiven us all! Surely this
is not what a loving God would do.
As the years drew on I disregarded what I was taught
about God. Religious holidays became all about presents and time off to
relax. I was lost but I didn’t know it. After all, these religious people
would never be able to prove their religions like the sciences we were taught
at school. To me they were just weak-minded or stupid.
As time went on I would continue to be successful at
school and get good grades pleasing my parents, and everything was fine. It
wasn’t until sometime after my 13th birthday that I would start to become
religious.
When I say religious I don’t mean in the sense of being
a practicing Christian. This, I could never be. But I did begin to hope to
some form of God that I would be successful and attain all the things I
needed. It was more a trust in something for the things I was unable to
engineer for myself.
As I progressed through school I learnt about various
religions, Buddhism sounded like a good one, for there was no God and it was
all about being a good person, and after all that is basically what I had
learnt from Christianity.
I began to think that religions were all about one thing
and that was about making people become more moral. I continued to try and be
a good person but couldn’t quite shake the thought that something was missing.
A year or so before I left Senior School my brother
became a born-again Christian. Unfortunately for me this was a somewhat
negative experience as he would keep trying to convert me to his religion, and
I still could not accept that Jesus, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon
him, was killed to forgive us our sins.
So I withdrew any signs of religious thinking away from
my family and friends to avoid further arguments with them and also to avoid being
branded a weirdo, (which was just one of the cruel jibes I now heavily regret
having landed upon my brother.)
My soul searching would continue to be repressed and
hidden even from me for the next year or so. And then came the terrorist
attacks on the World Trade Centre in America. At first when I was told about
it I didn’t believe it could happen, but it had.
The news continued to report stories about it, but as it
hadn’t affected me particularly I merely continued with my life. It wasn’t
until reports of Islamic terrorists, reprisals against Muslims and the attack
on Afghanistan and later on Iraq that I began to question my government and the
US. This ultimately pushed me towards discovering the truth of Islam.
I simply couldn’t believe that Muslims could be
terrorists capable only of hatred and murder. This was just strange. So I
ignored this, but maybe this was when my mind became truly willing to learn
about religion for the first time.
It wasn’t until I reached my first year of sixth-form
College until I was to make friends with a Muslim. At first I would never
believe she would be a friend as she said little until I got to know her. In
this friend lay the clear and defined evidence that Muslims were not just
crackpots and loonies and were in fact normal people.
Eventually, I began to explore Islam on the internet
when nobody was around; as I was not prepared to let people know I would
consider any religion, let alone Islam of all religions. I began to believe
what I read but was still a little confused and my journey to understanding was
slow.
Eventually, the summer vacations came and I was on the
edge of belief in Islam. I wanted to believe it was true but how could I prove
it. From my years of good grades and trying to be perfect in my parents’ eyes,
I hated being wrong.
As it was the summer I could not easily meet my Muslim
friend but had so much I wanted to ask her. Occasionally she would call and I
would talk to her for hours trying to build up the courage to tell her I needed
her help.
Eventually I managed the courage to explain I was
confused about religion but could never admit I wanted to be a Muslim, as I
didn’t know for certain that this was no whim as I had so much fear in my
mind. Well, eventually I managed to tell her and she had only good things to
say.
So, I was now certain that I had to become a Muslim but
how would I tell people and find out more? I knew I couldn’t tell my family
yet, as I remembered the cruelty I and my sisters had inflicted on my brother
upon his becoming a Christian. I was afraid I would receive the same or worse.
After all he at least followed the religion of my
country and that we had been raised in, this would be totally different.
Wouldn’t it? My journey from this point on was the hardest part. How can you
find out more if you couldn’t tell anyone for fear your family would find out?
Well I’m glad to say eventually over a long period of time I slowly managed to
confide in friends and family.
I decided to say Shahadah on my 20th birthday, knowing
if I didn’t set a date I would never do it. So the weekend before I went to
the Global Peace and Unity Conference in London, which was really amazing. I
went knowing that the following Monday I would pronounce the Testimony of
Faith, but it wasn’t until the Saturday night spent at a friends place that I knew
for certain I was going to say the Shahadah on Monday.
For that night I lay trying to sleep and all I could
here was the Adhan ringing through my head. It was the best thing ever. The
next day I saw people making their own Shahadah and longed for Monday to come.
When the Monday finally did come and I finally did say the Shahadah it felt
odd. Almost like I was me at last!
I know the best stories all have a beginning middle and
an end but you’ll have to wait a little longer for the end, but this journey
still hasn’t finished. I still have the Quran and hadiths to learn and so much
more besides that as well.
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