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Donald W. Flood, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 4)
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Description: How a roulette analogy helped this former Las Vegas resident become a Muslim. Part 1: Gathering the Initial Pieces of “the Purpose of Life Puzzle”.
By Donald W. Flood
Published on 10 Nov 2008 - Last modified on 23 Jun 2009
Viewed: 7204 (daily average: 6) - Rating: 4.8 out of 5 - Rated by: 4
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Men
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I once thought my upbringing offered an excellent way of
life, especially since I felt satisfied both mentally and physically. As a
young man, I lived the life of an average American who had a rather hedonistic
lifestyle; I was fond of music, festive atmospheres, women, sports, travel, ethnic
foods and foreign languages. I reached a point, however, where I felt
‘spiritually bankrupt’ and I asked myself, “now what?” and I thought, “there
has to be more to life than this!” This realization was the impetus that led
me to search for the truth through diverse avenues.
I assumed the reason I felt spiritually unfulfilled had
to do with my lifestyle in America, which was often tied to instant
gratification and impulsive behavior. As a result, I speculated that the
answer might lie in finding a better locale. Thus, I began looking for that
perfect place. After traveling to numerous destinations, I discovered that it
wasn’t so much a perfect location I was looking for, but a particular culture
with the most suitable approach to life. When I found what I considered to be
the most appealing culture, I recognized that it still had flaws. Thereafter,
I surmised that we should learn about the different ways people live and then
select the best from these practices. This was perhaps what set me on my
journey to seek the truth.
Unable to really implement the life of a global citizen,
I chose to read materials on metaphysics because the esoteric things in life
always intrigued me. I quickly learned everything functions according to
universal laws which can be used for one’s own benefit. After reading many
books on this subject, I concluded that more important than these laws is the
One Who created them, i.e., God. I also discovered metaphysics can be a
precarious path to follow, in which case, I refrained from any further reading
in this area.
On the suggestion of a good friend, we went on a
three-month camping trip all over America and Western Canada with the intention
of discovering the purpose of life. We witnessed the marvels of nature and
realized this world could not have been created by mistake, and that it was
clearly a wonderland of signs pointing to its Creator. Hence, this trip
reinforced my belief in God.
After returning home, I felt distressed at the busy life
of the city, so I turned to meditation for relief. I was able to find inner
peace through meditation techniques. Nevertheless, this tranquil feeling was
only temporary; once I stood up, I couldn’t take that feeling with me. Likewise,
being consistent with meditation became too much of a formidable task, so I
slowly started losing interest.
Before long, I thought the truth might lie in
self-improvement. Therefore I became a voracious reader of motivational
materials and attended related seminars. In addition, I was striving to live
up to the US Army’s slogan on TV commercials, ‘Be all you can be’, through
endeavors in fire-walking, skydiving and martial arts. Due to my reading and
challenging exploits, I gained a keen sense of self-confidence, but in fact, I
still hadn’t discovered the truth.
Soon afterwards, I read numerous books on various
philosophies. I found many interesting concepts and practices; yet, there
wasn’t any particular philosophy that I could totally agree with. Thus, I
chose to consolidate what I thought was the best wisdom from among these
doctrines. It became sort of a ‘religion à la carte’ which mainly emphasized
good moral behavior. I eventually concluded that good morality was good, but
it was not good enough to solve ‘the purpose of life puzzle’ which was a more
spiritual approach to life.
Shortly thereafter, I obtained a job in a Muslim country
where I had enough free time to read and reflect on life. While continuing my
search for the truth, I found a recommendation in a book concerning the need
for sincere repentance to God. I proceeded to do so and felt remorse for all
the people I had wronged in my life, to the degree that tears started rolling
down my face.
A few days later, I had a conversation with some Muslim
friends. I mentioned to them that I was used to having a lot more freedom in America than that which was present in their country. One person said, “Well, it depends
on what you mean by ‘freedom’. In your part of the world, no matter how well
parents teach morality to their children inside the home, as soon as they go
outside, they generally encounter the society in contradiction to that morality.
On the other hand, in most Muslim communities, the morals taught to the
children at home are very similar to what they find away from home. So who
really has the freedom here?” From this analogy, I inferred that the Islamic
guidelines and restrictions partially sanctioning human behavior are not meant
to curtail human freedom; rather, they served to define and dignify human
freedom.
A further opportunity to learn about Islam arose when I
was invited to sit with a group of Muslims over dinner. After mentioning to
the group that I had been living in Las Vegas, Nevada before coming to the
Middle East, a Muslim from America said, “You must make sure you die as a good
Muslim.” I immediately asked him to explain what he meant. He said, “If you
die as a non-Muslim, it is like playing the game of roulette in which you put
all of your chips (all of your life, including your deeds and your particular
belief in God) on only one number, just hoping that perhaps by the Mercy of
God, you will enter Paradise on Judgment Day. In contrast, if you die as a
good Muslim, it is like spreading your chips all over the roulette board, so
that every number is covered in this way, no matter what number the ball falls
on, you’re safe. In other words, living and dying as a good Muslim is the best
insurance you will not go to the Hell, and at the same time, it is the best
investment that you’ll go to Paradise.” As a former resident of Las Vegas, I could directly relate to this poignant example with the game of roulette.
At this point, I understood I would not find the truth
until I began to concentrate on those religions in which God had sent
revelation to His prophets and messengers. Hence, I chose to continue my
search for the truth through Christianity and Islam.
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