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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 5 of 7)
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Description: Islam evolving in the heart. Part 5.
By Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter
Published on 04 Oct 2010 - Last modified on 07 Nov 2010
Viewed: 6188 (daily average: 6) - Rating: 5 out of 5 - Rated by: 2
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Men
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Three Conditions
I ended up thinking about the heartache
I felt for my family, so I decided to wait until three things were clear before
I would embrace Islam.
1. My wife accepted the
religion as I had done.
2. She agreed to leave her job
and come and live with me in Saudi Arabia.
3. A (personal) problem she and
I had between us was overcome.
In other words, I vowed I would wait
until all conditions were optimum and would not become officially Muslim until
they were.
I began talking to my wife about what I
had found out. Although I was trying not to sound overboard, my amazement at
what I had found and my endorsement of it must have been overwhelming. I wrote
e-mail after e-mail, and chatted lengthily on msn. I read constantly and
widely anything about Islam I found on the net, especially arguments Muslims
made through Biblical support for the religion. My enthusiasm for the discovery
that Islam was just an extension of our religion purified, you might say, from
its errors, must have impinged sharply on her to the extent that she became
dismayed, and she was finally driven to comment, “it sounds like you have
converted.”
This made me pause because I realised
that I had already made the step in my heart, if not by my mouth, and my
response reflected that.
“Actually, I have.”
From that moment on, my wife kept on
criticising me for not consulting her before I made such a big decision. My
constant defence was that I hadn’t officially converted yet, though I had in my
heart. This argument derailed my efforts to convert her, and led to very tense
and painful cohabitation during the next few holidays I took that Christmas and
the following three summers. But that is another story.
The Mosque and the Orphans
In the meanwhile, I had my first
experience of praying with Muslims. One weekend, I was walking back from the
centre of town in the evening after an afternoon of shopping. I had bought
some ‘native’ clothing, and wanted to try them out. In fact, I was wearing one
of the dress-like ‘thobes’ I had just bought,
and carrying the other with my ‘western’ clothes in a carrier bag. The sun was
westering as I started for home, and set when I was about half-way there. The
call for prayer blared from a small mosque I was approaching, and was echoed by
the hundreds of mosques near and far through the city. Shutters were rattling
down, and goods in the street were being covered with plastic and sail cloth. Men
started streaming from the shops and houses to the mosques. It was impressive!
A call from the minaret responded to in an instant. I decided I wanted to see
what Muslim prayer was all about.
I tentatively followed the stragglers
in as the prayer began and watched them line up behind the two lines already
formed. They raised their hands as they joined the line and then folded them
over their chests. It looked easy enough, and I tagged on to the end of the
line. Several children joined the line after me, forming a kind of restless
addendum. As the men alongside me bowed and prostrated, I copied their
movements as best as I could, looking sideways out of the corner of my eye. They
were oblivious to me, each one concentrating on some point directly before
them, eyes lowered. Their communion with God was palpable, and I tried to
share in the channel they had tapped, despite not having the same words to do
so.
“Oh God! Help me to fulfil my vow, and
persuade my wife. Guide me to You, and guide my family. I believe in You, the
only God, and not in human beings as gods.”
I repeated the prayer, over and over,
like a mantra. I don’t think I reached the same level of communion as my
companions, but my heart felt better when the prayer was over. As I pulled on
my shoes and socks, two of the children who had lined up beside me came over.
“Anta Muslim?
Limada tusalli? ‘adam wa’dha al yedduka al yameen ala shimal.”
The kids had spotted that I was a total
greenhorn, and had serious doubts whether I actually belonged. They showed me
how I should have positioned my hands, how I should have prostrated and bowed,
how I should have placed my feet and so on. Of course, I didn’t have a word of
Arabic, so I was just aware that they thought I needed a lot of coaching if I
was to pass off being a bone fide member of the congregation. They signalled
that I should follow them so they could take me to their home and hand me over
to their elder brother.
I was a bit wary of going into the
door, in case they meant for me to wait outside, but one of the children came
back when I didn’t follow them in. He made the ‘come on’ motion again, and
then signalled that I should go right as I entered, and through a hanging bead
screen. Inside was a sitting room with typical Arab floor cushions. A young
teenager, maybe 15 or 16, stood up from his comfortable lounging position to
greet me.
The older brother was very hospitable,
but couldn’t help me understand the children and what they were getting at. He
served me Arabic coffee in tiny cups and invited me to share some dates. I was
curious why children were entertaining me, the older boy being just a teenager.
Where were their parents?
“Where’s your mama and papa?” I asked.
But he either didn’t understand or
could not explain in sign language. He gestured that I should wait, so I
guessed they would be home, soon. However, instead of a grown man, it was
another youngster, barely out of his teens, who rolled in just before the
evening prayer. He looked surprised at seeing me in the sitting room with his
brother, and a few words were exchanged.
“Ameriki?”
I shook my head. “No, British.”
“Welcome. Welcome. Coffee?”
Again I shook my head; I had had
enough.
He stood up and indicated I should
follow. “Tawadha,” he said,
meaning “let’s make ablution!” He rubbed his hands together. “Wash; go masjid.”
He wanted me to get ready to go to the
mosque for the evening prayer.
“Put hand,” he said, lifting my right
hand, “on this!” he said, placing it over my left hand and then lifted them
both so they rested on my chest. We were walking across the road, and we
stopped right in the middle of it for the lesson as if cars did not exist. He
indicated the prayer by lifting his two hands to his ears. “Do like me!”
I lined up beside him, and this time
made a better job of the movements.
When we got back home, dinner was
served on a kind of tablecloth on the floor. I asked him, “Your mama?”
‘Mama’ seems to be an international or
universal means of indicating a mother. He shook his head, and made a sleeping
gesture and then a downward movement of the open palm towards the ground. “Baba
wa mama fiy mout,yarhamhummullah. Sister make.”
So they were orphans, and this young
man and his sister had shouldered the responsibility of the family. His
English was not the best, so the conversation was desultory. He asked, “You
like Islam?”
I said I did.
“Why you not Muslim?”
I needed time.
He offered me a lift home. “You need
help, any time visit,” he said as he dropped me off.
I thanked him.
Then the words I was to hear a thousand
times over emerged from his mouth. “Any Service?”
The kindness of that orphan family has
never left me. I was really touched at the care they had shown, and
appreciated their sincere attempts at guiding me. But the person who had the
greatest effect in my initiation was a man yet to arrive on the scene. He was
a green card Iranian looking for American nationality, and he was about to blow
into my life.
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| Parts of This Article |
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 1 of 7)
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 2 of 7)
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 3 of 7)
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 4 of 7)
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 5 of 7) |
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 6 of 7)
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Jeremy Ben Royston Boulter, Ex-Christian, UK (part 7 of 7)
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View all parts together
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