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“Mi”, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 3)
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Description: The daughter of a southern Baptist preacher finds her way to Islam. Part 1: Growing up as a devout Christian
By “Mi”
Published on 25 Jun 2012 - Last modified on 05 Nov 2012
Viewed: 2908 (daily average: 9) - Rating: 5 out of 5 - Rated by: 3
Printed: 84 - Emailed: 1 - Commented on: 0
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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“In my mind, there was nothing wrong with
Christianity. I was perfectly fine with it. I had questions and had not been
feeling the same fervor I once experienced as a teenager but I just had to
shake it off, pray, and continue to be faithful in the hopes that my change
would come. My pursuit of education changed this view.”
I pray that whoever reads my story; whatever faith a
person may practice, I pray that the overall theme conveyed here is submission
to the will of God and to be in constant pursuit of knowledge. Ameen.
Shouting, speaking in tongues, a choir accompanied by a
Hammond B3, pianos, and drums among other things were a part of my religious
upbringing. The louder the sounds were, it seemed to me, the more pleasing to
God it was. I was raised to see these acts as normal. It was how my church
grew to become. My father was and still is a southern Baptist preacher. At
seven, I dedicated my life to Christ and was baptized by my father at his
church. My sister and brother-in-law are ministers of music at the church my
mother and I went to after my parent’s divorce. As a teenager, I was full of
fervor and reverence for God. And thus I wanted to live a good Christian
lifestyle in which I strived to be like Christ as we were taught. I would
attempt to share my beliefs with others in the hopes to get them to become
saved; asking Jesus into their hearts so that his ultimate sacrifice could wash
away their sins, and thus, they would return to him. In my mind, there was
nothing wrong with Christianity. I was perfectly fine with it. I had
questions and had not been feeling the same fervor I once experienced as a
teenager but I just had to shake it off, pray, and continue to be faithful in
the hopes that my change would come. My pursuit of education changed this view.
My sister led my mother and I to this new church which
became our home church after my parent’s divorce. We loved it. The music was
awesome, the preacher had a degree in divinity, and we had a youth choir! Even
more importantly, these groups of people were mostly black, had microphones
which made the music and preaching really loud, and were welcoming each Sunday.
At 16, on a visit with my father in the mountains, a young white preacher
friend of my dad’s stopped by his house. I met him, shook his hand and went on
about doing whatever I was doing. He and my dad were speaking in the kitchen.
The preacher asked if I was saved and my father told him I was. The man asked
to speak with me and called me into the kitchen. The man began to prophesy (a
practice of reporting information from God communicated to one person to tell
someone else). He stated that I was going to be a minister, and that I would
begin to speak in tongues more fervently, and that he would find a lady in my
church that would be a mentor to me. He completed his message with a prayer
over me and that was it. My father and I discussed it later as we typically
had always discussed spiritual matters. When I returned home, I prayed and
asked God to show me who this woman was, I asked him for the gift of speaking
in tongues, and for the courage to approach my new pastor and to ask him if I
could be a minister. Eventually, two out of three things happened. I would
attend what we called “intercessory prayer” in which we felt we were praying for
for those whom we did not know, in an unknown but godly language. It can only
be described to the outsider as sounding like gibberish (not to offend
anyone.) I worked up the courage to speak to the pastor and he allowed me into
the class. I was among one or two teenagers present in the class. I was very
proud. In one assignment, we had to construct a sermon, which I presented to the
pastor he said I did an exceptional job!
At 17, the ministers training class had been postponed
or pushed back so much so, that my high school graduation came and went and I
was off to college. I still had hopes of being obedient to God while in college.
The pastor prayed over us that we would hold true to our values and morals and
sent us on our way. College was a blur. There were no wild intimate
encounters; I stayed away from the football team as they were the ones who were
looking for wild encounters, and I did not do any drugs. I joined the marching
band, attended church, worked and studied. I met and dated two different guys
at two different times. In both relationships, we discussed marriage as was the
custom according to our teachings but sadly our relationships ended. In all
honesty, I was heartbroken by both relationships.
One relationship actually went to the point of an engagement.
However the breakup, triggered in me a deep sorrow that I was unable to shake
off. I graduated, worked in the area for another year and moved 6 hours away to
wait to get married. Once I broke off the engagement, I was so angry at God.
I felt that I did everything he asked me to do. I trusted my gut feeling which
I interpreted as God leading me and this is what happened! (Looking back,
relationships were complex but it worsens the situation when you have poor
communication skills and do not listen to others. And that was just me.) I
lay in bed crying for several hours. When I felt I could not cry anymore, I
found my bottle of sleeping pills took a handful and tried to go to sleep
indefinitely. The next thing I remember after becoming sick, is calling my
mother and her telling me that she bought me a ticket to fly home.
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