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_001.jpg) God says in the Quran—in a passage that the Prophet, may
the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, used to repeat often when he would
begin his speeches:
“O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a
single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created
many men and women and fear God through Whom you demand your mutual (rights),
and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, God is Ever an
All-Watcher over you” (Quran 4:1)
The family is the nucleus of society as a whole. If the
family is on a sound foundation, it is more likely that society as a whole will
be in a good state. Thus, in general, the messengers of God, the prime
examples for humans, adhered to this institution of marriage and family. God
states,
“Verily, We have sent messenger before you and appointed for
them spouses and children…” (Quran 13:38)
The Prophet Muhammad also established marriage as his
way of life, saying:
“By God, I am the most fearful of God of you and I
have the most piety; however, I fast and break my fast, pray [at night] and
sleep and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my sunnah
is not of me.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
Undoubtedly, Islam puts a great emphasis on family
relations and cohesion. Scholars of Islamic Law have noted that when one
studies the laws found in Islam and what seems to be the wisdom behind them,
one finds that they have been laid down to establish, protect, reinforce and
perpetuate specific necessities of life. The necessities of life as envisioned
by Islamic Law are:
(1) religion,
(2) life,
(3) familial ties and relationships,
(4) mental capacity and
(5) wealth and property.
Thus, for example, one need only ponder over the
stringent laws related to the preservation of the sanctity of the family to
understand the great emphasis that Islam places on the family. In the “modern West,”
nowadays, for example, adultery and other acts that strike at the very
foundation of a family are not considered crimes.
In Islam, the situation is very different. Islam exhorts all the members of a
family to treat each other well while avoiding promiscuous acts that are evil
in themselves and harmful to any marriage. God says, for example:
“And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily,
it is a greatly lewd act, and an evil way.” (Quran 17:32)
However, these exhortations are not simply hollow words.
Instead, they are also backed up with the force of law for some of the most
egregious acts that cannot be overlooked. Thus, God commands:
“The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse,
flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their
case, in a punishment prescribed by God, if you believe in God and the Last Day.
And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.” (Quran 24:2)
Pity is not allowed to overrule what must be done,
because in the end, that pity—and pity is something which drives someone to do
good to others—will lead to evil results. Furthermore, in a saying of the
Prophet recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim, it is confirmed that the he ordered
stoning to death for the adulterer. In fact, Islam goes well beyond that to
protect the sanctity of the family: those who falsely accuse chaste women of
such evil deeds are also to receive severe punishments. God says:
“And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four
witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever,
they indeed are the disobedient to God.” (Quran 24:4)
In particular, God offers guidance to humankind
concerning behavior with all of the members of the family. For the sake of
brevity, this short article shall prevent an overview of the proper behavior of
a Muslim toward the other members of his family, including parents, children,
spouses and other relatives.
God has demanded that Muslims treat their parents in the
best possible fashion. Muslims must be grateful people. They must be grateful
to God and to all who do them well. After God, there is perhaps no one who
deserves a person’s gratitude more than his parents. Thus, numerous verses of
the Quran touch upon the question of the treatment of parents. Indeed, in more
than one place, God has closely tied good behavior towards parents with the
command to worship Him alone. Note, for example, the following verse of the
Quran:
“Worship God and join none with Him in worship, and do good to
parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the poor, the neighbour who is near of kin, the
neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you
meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allah does not
like such as are proud and boastful” (Quran 4:36)
God also says:
“Say (O Muhammad): Come, I will recite what your Lord has
prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful
to your parents…” (Quran 6:151)
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And
that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old
age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but
address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they
did foster me when I was small.’ Your Lord knows best what is in your
inner-selves. If you are righteous, then, verily, He is Ever Most Forgiving to
those who turn unto Him again and again in obedience, and in repentance.” (Quran
17:23-25)
“And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but God (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents…” (Quran 2:83)
The Prophet also emphasized good treatment of one's
parents, putting it after prayer in its proper time as a deed that is most
beloved to God: The Prophet was asked:
“What deed is the most beloved to God?” He
replied, “Prayer in its proper time.” He was asked, “Then what deed?” He
replied, “Being dutiful to one’s parents…” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
God reminds the believers that their parents, in
particular the mother, went through a great deal of hardship and effort to
raise their child and therefore they are deserving of love, respect and
gratitude in return. God says:
“And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was
advising him, ‘O my son! Join not in worship others with God. Verily! Joining
others in worship with God is a great wrong indeed.’ And We have enjoined on
man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness
and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give
thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Quran 31:13-14)
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his
parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with
hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty months, till
when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: ‘My Lord! Grant
me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favor which You have
bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds,
such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You
in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will).’”
(Quran 46:15)
Thus, in particular, the mother is deserving of the
greatest friendship and closeness from her children. The Prophet was once
asked:
“Who among the people has the most right for my
good companionship?” The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” The man asked, “And
then whom?” The Prophet replied again, “Your mother.” The man again asked,
“And them whom?” the Prophet once again said, “Your mother.” The man asked
once more, “And then whom?” This time the Prophet said, “Your father.” (Saheeh
Muslim)
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