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Natasa, Ex-Catholic, Slovakia
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Description: Natasa finds a purpose and direction in Islam after a life of emptiness.
By Natasa
Published on 21 Mar 2011 - Last modified on 18 Apr 2011
Viewed: 3050 (daily average: 7) - Rating: 4.4 out of 5 - Rated by: 24
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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 I converted to Islam two months ago and did not
think it important to share my story, but in the past few days,
I realized that I myself benefitted from other new Muslims’ stories, so why not
let someone benefit from my journey to Islam? Inshallah (God-Willing)
someone will read it and come to the truth as I have.
I came from a Catholic family from central
Europe. I don’t know if you have ever visited central Europe and seen the
condition there? Most of the people claim to be Protestants,
Roman-Catholics, Orthodox Christians or some other sort of
Christian. Islam is not popular or well
known among people. I would to go to church and I learnt about the religion in school but I never really pondered
over it. The only reason I was a Christian was because my parents were
Christians.
It was only when I became 16 that I really began to think
for myself and to question my faith. I no longer could take what was said to us
“this is how it is, so accept it!” So
often, would I go to church and listen to
the sermons of the preacher and I remember that after Mass I would ask my mom
so many questions. I must admit that
many times the sermons were nice and the priest tried to give us direction in
life but it felt as though I was a slave not having any will of my own. Do not understand me wrong, I know that people are
not perfect and that they are in need of guidance; I just did not understand why a priest, as
human as I, who was as prone to error as I, could yield so much
authority.
At that time, I did respect
priests and the Christian faith, for it
is a religion with a very long tradition and indeed my
whole family is catholic, but I felt it was not enough for me. It seemed to be a valueless object wrapped in
a fancy cover. I apologize to any Christians
who might feel hurt by this statement, I am just expressing my feelings.
Christianity may be spiritually enriching for other people,
but it wasn’t for me.
Going back to my story, I gradually
began to distance myself from Catholicism. I stopped going to
church, I stopped praying the Christian way; although,
I kept having talks with God. My father was
never a religious man, but he would take from different
ideologies, religions and form his own opinion. So I started this search on my own, a search for the
purpose of life and some principles that would be
beneficial to me in the course of my life.
I believe that every person has an inner call towards something higher and more
spiritual. As humans, we have been instilled with great
intelligence as well as base desires that cause us to forget about more important things. I had to go to the ‘other end of the world’ to find out that wealth was
not as important as good friends and relationships that we have. I feel now that
my life before was very empty and without any direction. When
you go to a foreign country, you check the maps for some interesting places to visit, we rarely just
go without knowing where we are headed. The same applies
to our lives. If our life is one big journey, we need to have
guidance and we need to know what will await us at the end.
I am glad I felt like this because it made
my heart open. I was open to new opinions and ideas. I
wanted to try anything that seemed reasonable. I went to India; I got to know
Hinduism and Islam (mainly thanks to my Indonesian Muslim roommates who were so
nice and open to any discussion about Islam). But it was not until I had
stayed one year in Indonesia that I finally found Islam.
I have to remind the reader that I come
from Europe and the anti-Islamic propaganda also influenced me. I respected
my Muslim friends however I never wanted to be one of them. I
still had in mind stories of women who were treated in a very harsh way by
their husbands, the terrorists that are so often portrayed in the media
as Muslims, and I thought that the average Muslim could be
so easily brainwashed that they could kill for their religion. However
I was open to learn and my awakening began during the month of Ramadan. I lived with an Indonesian Muslim family,
I took part in the fasting and I started learning so much
about myself and I realized how important it is to
be disciplined in order to achieve anything
in our lives. I also realized how important it was not to be a slave of materialistic things. In
fasting I had to control my mood and emotions which happened to be much harder
than dealing with the feelings of hunger
and thirst. I started to look at the world from a
different perspective. Suddenly materialistic things
didn’t appear so important, what seemed important were the
relationships between people, and treating others kindly and helping each other out.
This was the time when I felt awake. I
felt good and happy despite the fact that I was hungry and thirsty (A month
before Ramadan I thought not drinking and eating was crazy!). During this time, I began a soul searching for the true
religion and it was at this point that I began to read the Bible.
In Christianity we don’t read the Bible. I mean you read
passages in church or in religious class but we never actually sit and read
what is inside. And the moment I started to read it I knew why we are not
encouraged by priests to read it. It is full of
contradictions above my understanding. I won’t go much into details because
there have already been many stories about this and you can find the
explanations anywhere on the internet (plenty of them have been published by
scholars giving exact references to Bible or Quran for anybody who wishes to look
into this).
However there was a moment when I decided
to convert to Islam. It was when I came across different statements of
scientists which were supported by Quran. I mean it was completely absurd
to think that Muhammad, may God praise him,
could know these things himself, without any divine intervention. He
was an unlettered man! Science back then was even inaccurate, so it cannot be
stated that the Prophet plagiarized what was in the Quran from the science of
that day. If you believe that the world was created by someone it
is not hard to accept the fact that there is only One God, One Creator and He revealed these things to his Messenger. Believing
in God and his Messenger is Shahadah, the first pillar of Islam.
So after I realized this and I believed I
knew I could not turn back. If we are searching for something and we pray for
it we cannot leave it once we find it. I thank God for He
opened my eyes and my heart to be able to find the right way and I hope many
others will do so as well. Being a
Muslim is challenging, but it perfects
us. I slowly stopped fearing many things I feared before. I put
my trust in God. Since my conversion to Islam, I have become more disciplined; I worship
my Creator in a state of complete harmony and peace. When looking at Islam,
some may be prevented by the thought that they don’t want to be anyone’s slave.
But ask yourself this, how many of us work from dawn to dusk just
for the sake of money? How many of us want to achieve something but never
really find the time? I am sure that
I am not the only person who felt like this and Inshallah more people
will find the right way and will be brave enough to live according to it.
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