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 The
Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, often spoke to his companions about the
value of good companionship. He emphasized the need to surround ourselves with
good people. People who hold the same values and beliefs that we do, make the
best friends and companions. Differences of opinion, different lifestyles and
interests may make our friendships interesting and sometimes challenging but if
the core value system is not the same the friendship itself probably has no
solid foundation.
For the believer, the solid foundation must always be
Islam; the irrefutable truth that there is no god worthy of worship but Allah and
that Muhammad is His messenger. Every believer, past, present and future is
linked by this fundamental truth. Prophet Muhammad spoke about this bond on
many occasions.
The example of the believers, in their mutual love
and mercy for one another is like the example of one body, if one part feels
pain, then all of the body suffers in sleeplessness and fever.”
The believer to the believer is like a
solid building, one part supporting the other.
Friendship and companionship are important in Islam. A
good friend is one who accepts your shortcomings, but at the same time guides
and supports you. A good friend is one who accommodates your faults but
corrects them where possible. A good friend is one who will love and forgive
you for the sake of God.
It is important to choose your friends carefully.
Prophet Muhammad warned the believers about this too. He said that a person would
be influenced by his friends, and he warned that everyone should look carefully
at those they consider to be their friends.
What we can understand from this is that it is easy to
be influenced by the people around us. It is easy to take on their mannerisms
and qualities without even being aware of it. If these are good qualities then
it is a good thing but what if the people you consider friends have pushed you
away from the remembrance of God? This could be a disaster, and God warns
about it in the Quran.
“And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer (oppressor,
polytheist etc.) will bite on his hand, he will say: ‘Oh! Would that I had
taken a path with the Messenger. Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken
so-and-so as a friend! He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (the Quran)
after it had come to me.’” (Quran 25:27)
Prophet Muhammad also reiterated this
point when he told the story of the blacksmith and the perfume seller.
The example of a good companion (friend) in
comparison with a bad one is like that of one who sells musk and the
blacksmith. From the first, you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell,
while from the blacksmith you would either get burned or smell a bad scent.
Once we have found good friends it is important to keep
and maintain the friendship. Believers are connected by their love of God and
His messenger and this entails certain responsibilities. A person must be
prepared to overlook some of the faults of his brother or sister in Islam; he
must be prepared to give them excuses for any incorrect or bad behaviour they
see in them.
This does not mean however you should turn a blind eye
to sin. No, rather it means that you must maintain the ties of friendship
while seeking to understand and help those who have gone astray. Believers
must never embarrass or publicly harass one another. They must never expose
each other’s faults. Kindness and mercy must be evident in all dealings.
Whoever conceals (the fault of) a Muslim, God will
conceal his fault on the Day of Judgment.”
Islamic scholar, Ibn Mazin said, “The Believer seeks
excuses for his brothers, whilst the hypocrite seeks out their faults.” And
Hamdun al-Qassar said, “If one of your brothers’ commits an error, then seek
ninety excuses for him, and if not, then you are the blameworthy one.”
In his traditions, Prophet Muhammad said, “A person
visited his brother in another town and God sent an angel to wait for him on
his way. The angel said, “Where do you intend to go?” the man answered, “I
intend to go to my brother in this town.” The angel said, “Have you done any
favour to him, the repayment of which you intend to get?” He said: “No, I love
him for the sake of God, the Exalted and Glorious.” Thereupon the angel said, “I
am a messenger to you from God to inform you that God loves you as you love
him.”
Believers should never be envious of one
another, they should always be happy when the blessings of God fall upon their
friends and companions. The Prophet, may God praise him, said:
None of you truly believes until he
wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.
The Muslim’s prayer for his absent brother will be
answered. There is an angel at his head who, whenever he prays for his
brother, says, Ameen, and you shall have likewise.
Do not have malice against a Muslim; do not be
envious of other Muslims; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him. Oh the
slaves of Allah! Be like brothers with each other. It is not violable for a
Muslim to desert his brother for over three days.
A believer loves all other believers for the sake of
God. He desires for them what he desires for himself. A believer is tolerant
of others mistakes or shortcomings and is forgiving. There is no anger, envy,
hatred or malice between believers. Believers are kind, loyal and generous to
one another and they pray for each other.
It may sound too good to be true, doesn’t it? This
however is Islam. It is a way of life that expects every person to respect
every other person. Islam says you are part of a community and it is your
right and your responsibility to be the very best person that you can be.
Seeking good companions and maintaining good relationships is a responsibility
that each believer has to himself, his community and to God. Seek companions
who are seeking paradise in the hereafter.
“Content yourself with those who pray to their Lord morning
and evening, seeking His approval, and do not let your eyes turn away from them
out of desire for the attractions of this worldly life, and do not yield to
those whose hearts We have made heedless of Our remembrance, those who follow
their own low desires, those whose ways are unbridled.” (Quran 18:28)
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