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 Islam is criticized for allowing polygamy, for popular
culture in the West views polygamy as relatively backward and impoverished. For
many Christians, it is a license to promiscuity, and feminists consider it a
violation of women’s rights and demeaning to women. A crucial point that needs
to be understood is that for Muslims, standards of morality are not set by prevalent
Western thought, but by divine revelation. A few simple facts should be borne
in mind before any talk of polygamy in Islam.
Islam Did Not Initiate Polygamy
Islam did not introduce polygamy. Among all Eastern
nations of antiquity, polygamy was a recognized institution. Among the Hindus,
polygamy prevailed from the earliest times. There was, as among the ancient
Babylonians, Assyrians, and Persians, no restriction as to the number of wives
a man might have. Although Greece and Rome were not polygamous societies, concubinage
was a norm. Islam
regulated polygamy by limiting the number of wives and bringing responsibility to
its practice. In fact, according to David Murray, an anthropologist, historically
polygamy is more common than monogamy.
Polygamy Practiced by God’s Prophets
The great Hebrew patriarchs equally revered by Judaism,
Christianity, and Islam - Abraham, Moses, Jacob, David, and Solomon, to name a
few – were polygamous. According to the Bible:
Abraham had three wives (Genesis 16:1, 16:3, 25:1)
Moses had two wives (Exodus 2:21, 18:1-6; Numbers 12:1)
Jacob had four wives (Genesis 29:23, 29:28, 30:4, 30:9)
David had at least 18 wives (1 Samuel 18:27, 25:39-44; 2
Samuel 3:3, 3:4-5, 5:13, 12:7-8, 12:24, 16:21-23)
Solomon had 700 wives (1 Kings 11:3).
The example of Jesus, who otherwise overlooked polygamy,
is irrelevant as he did not marry during his earthly ministry.
Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a legal arrangement in Islam, not a
sacrament in the Christian sense, and is secured with a contract. Islamic
marriage lays rights and corresponding responsibilities on each spouse.
Children born in wedlock are given legitimacy and share in inheritance from
their parents.
The primary purpose of marriage in Islam is regulating
sexuality within marriage as well as creating an atmosphere for the continuity
and extension of the family. This is in sharp contrast to growing trends on
marriage in the West. In recent decades, there are more alternatives to
marriage than ever before. Cohabitation - living together outside of marriage
- has greatly increased among young, never-married adults, as well as the divorced.
More American women are having children outside of marriage, ignoring the
traditionally sanctioned sequence of marriage followed by childbearing.
The Muslim scripture, the Quran, is the only known world
scripture to explicitly limit polygamy and place strict restrictions upon its
practice:
“… marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if
you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.” (Quran
4:3)
The Quran limited the maximum number of wives to four. In
the early days of Islam, those who had more than four wives at the time of
embracing Islam were required to divorce the extra wives. Islam further
reformed the institution of polygamy by requiring equal treatment to all wives.
The Muslim is not permitted to differentiate between his wives in regards to
sustenance and expenditures, time, and other obligations of husbands. Islam does
not allow a man to marry another woman if he will not be fair in his treatment.
Prophet Muhammad forbade discrimination between the wives or between their
children.
Also, marriage and polygamy in Islam is a matter of
mutual consent. No one can force a woman to marry a married man. Islam simply
permits polygamy; it neither forces nor requires it. Besides, a woman may stipulate
that her husband must not marry any other woman as a second wife in her
prenuptial contract. The point that is often misunderstood in the West is that
women in other cultures - especially African and Islamic - do not necessarily
look at polygamy as a sign of women’s degradation. Consequently, to equate
polygamy with degrading women is an ethnocentric judgment of other societies.
Even though we see the clear permissibility of polygamy
in Islam, its actual practice is quite rare in many Muslim societies. Some
researchers estimate no more than 2% of the married males practice polygamy.
Most Muslim men feel they cannot afford the expense of maintaining more than
one family. Even those who are financially capable of looking after additional
families are often reluctant due to the psychological burdens of handling more
than one wife. One can safely say that the number of polygamous marriages in
the Muslim world is much less than the number of extramarital affairs in the
West.
In other words, contrary to prevalent notion, men in the Muslim world today are
more strictly monogamous than men in the Western world.
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