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_001.jpg) The
condition of being honoured esteemed or well regarded. This is the most
commonly understood definition of respect. In fact, the thesaurus goes on the
describe respect as a courteous regard for peoples feelings and links respect
to honour, kindness, obedience and tolerance. So what is the role of respect
in Islam? Islam states that it is the responsibility of each individual to
treat all of creation with respect, honour and dignity. The most deserving of
respect is the Creator Himself. Respect begins with loving and obeying the
commandments of God and from this respect flow all the manners and high
standards of morality that are inherent in Islam.
“And whosoever obeys God and His Messenger, fears God, and
keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.” (Quran 24:52)
To be one of those who are successful, Islam requires
that each individual learn to obey the Creator and thus treat humankind, our
environment, the believers and ourselves with respect. Bearing in mind that
the believers are one nation, and if one part of the nation is in peril so too
are all its parts, respect for each other is essential. Islam teaches us that
we are held accountable not only for our thoughts and actions but for the influence,
we have over others and the creation. Islam asks us to enjoin the good and
forbid the evil. Islam binds respect to peace, love and compassion, all
attributes of the One God, therefore to fulfil our obligation to honour and
obey God one must respect the honour, reputation and privacy of others. Respect
involves staying completely away from the major sins of backbiting, lying,
slander, and gossip.
Respect for humanity means staying away from sins that
will sow discord among the people and lead to destruction. Respect includes
loving for our brothers and sisters what we love for ourselves. Respect
involves treating others the way we expect to be treated and the way we hope
God will treat us –with compassion, love and mercy. Major sins put a barrier
between humanity and God’s Mercy and cause all the torment, misery and evil in
this world and the hereafter. God commands us to stay away from sin and to
strive against our own destructive character flaws. He also singles out
suspicion, backbiting and gossip as bringing about nothing but shame and
disgrace.
“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed
some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would
one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so
hate backbiting). And fear God. Verily, God is the One Who accepts
repentance, Most Merciful.” (Quran 49:12)
Ibn Abbass, a companion of Prophet Muhammad and Quran
commentator said God forbade backbiting just as He forbade the eating of dead
flesh. Eating dead flesh is something that people naturally have abhorrence to
and they should have the same natural abhorrence to backbiting one another. Respect
involves caring for one another not shredding characters the way carrion would
shred a dead animal.
Backbiting
Some people might say that backbiting is merely words
and ask what harm it can do. Words are indeed powerful and have far-reaching
effects. In addition to the obvious lack of respect involved in back biting, mere
words cause pain to the one maligned and consign the backbiter to the fires
of Hell. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, warned
us of the fate awaiting those who utter disrespect. He said, “A man might
speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he
will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and
west.”
On one occasion, a close companion of Prophet inquired
how he could be admitted into Paradise and distanced from the Hellfire. Prophet
Muhammad mentioned the virtues of good deeds and asked his companion if he
desired to know the foundation of good deeds. The companion answered “certainly”,
where upon Prophet Muhammad took a hold of his own tongue and said, “restrain
yourself from this”. The companion asked incredulously “are we held
accountable for the things that we say?” Prophet Muhammad replied that nothing
sends people into the hellfire faster than the “harvest of their tongues”.
Having established that backbiting is anything but mere
words how can we define exactly what it is. Backbiting is talking about
somebody in a derogatory way or in a way that would not be pleasing to the one
being spoken about. It is called back biting because it is usually done when
the person being maligned is absent or “behind his back”. Prophet
Muhammad defined backbiting as “to mention about your brother something that he
would dislike having mentioned about him”.
Imam An Nawawi commented that backbiting included “what concerns his body, his
religious practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral
character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his
clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains
to him. It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly
by indication or a gesture…”
In the same saying mentioned above, the Prophet Muhammad
was asked about backbiting in relation to truthful comments. He explained the
severity of backbiting, and explained the difference between it and slander, by
saying, “If what you said about your brother is true, then you have backbitten
him. If what you said about him is false, then you have slandered him”. Slander is making
a false statement; it is a major sin and deserves a severe punishment. God
says in the Quran:
“And those who malign believing men and women undeservedly
bear upon themselves the guilt of slander and a manifest sin.” (33:58)
In another narration of Prophet Muhammad, his beloved
wife Aisha made a comment about one of her co-wives by describing her as short,
or small in stature. Prophet Muhammad responded in a way that made clear the
severity of her words. He said, “You have said a word that if it was to be
mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it.”
Backbiting has become so widespread nowadays that people
use it as a way of expressing anger and jealousy. Those who engage in it are
disrespecting God by disobeying Him and harming others. Magazines and
television shows are devoted to gossiping and prying into the private lives of
others. There is no respect for privacy, and contrary to popular belief, the
lives of others are not source material for gossip sessions. The person who
habitually engages in backbiting and gossip and who does not struggle against
his desires and begs for God’s forgiveness has lost all respect for himself for
he no longer fears the fires of Hell. The sin is grave, the punishment severe,
but God is Merciful and always accepts sincere repentance.
“...if any of you does evil in ignorance, and thereafter
repents and does righteous good deeds (by obeying God), then surely, He is Oft Forgiving,
Most Merciful.” (Quran 6:54)
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