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Haneefah bint Stefan, Ex-Christian, Sweden
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Description: A diverse university experience causes Haneefah to open up to other cultures and find out about Islam.
By Haneefah bint Stefan
Published on 04 Aug 2008 - Last modified on 04 Aug 2008
Viewed: 3335 (daily average: 4) - Rating: 4.8 out of 5 - Rated by: 18
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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The first time I ever thought about having Islam as my
religion was at the age of 15. Reading a story in my high school religion book
about a Swedish woman who converted made me think: How would it be if I became
a Muslim? How would it change my life?
This woman was wearing a scarf on her head, and she was
working as a secretary. Because of my lack of knowledge about Islam, this
shocked me extremely. How can she work with that thing on her head? Who will
ever hire a woman like that?
My conclusion was that I would never become Muslim
because it would stand out and would lessen my chances of getting the dream job.
I guess this thinking depended largely on the way I was raised. My parents are
honest and hard-working people, but they do not see the need for religion. They
see that the meaning of life is actually inside life itself, and after it when
we all become dust, there is nothing more to it.
Nevertheless, I guess my mother respected the traditions
and morals of our Protestant Christian church, so she sent me at an early age
to a children’s group, and later at the age of 14, I was asked if I would like
to go to confirmation classes.
I agreed. I thought that it was best to do it. Who
knew, maybe I would change my mind later and regret that I did not go, and then
I would be outside of the church. Also, it was fun to go to these classes. We
painted, sang songs, played theatre, and went to a camp. There was not a lot
of serious people among us - most came only because of tradition, and to get
gifts, jewelry and money from relatives on that great day when the classes
finally finished and there was a ceremony in the church.
From this time, I remember having strong doubts about
Christianity. I read the Bible but it did not give me what I needed. I knew
there was something I was looking for, but I did not know what. I learned
about astrology and tried meditation and so on, but all this made me feel even
more confused.
I started to keep a “spiritual journal”. It was a small
book, which I filled with different material, religious and non-religious. I
would collect biblical verses, poems, Hindu chants, songs, and anything that
had meaning to me.
I started secondary school at the age of 16. Living in
a small suburb outside of the city, I was required to transfer to a school
inside the big town. I chose the one which was supposed to have the highest
status. I could not imagine that there would be so many foreign people.
Immediately after I started, I felt I was not happy. I
wanted to change my major, so I transferred from Media to Languages and came to
a new class where I knew no one. The first people who spoke kindly to me and
became my friends were an African girl, and an Iraqi girl who was wearing a
scarf. It was so exotic to me! All my life I had been surrounded by people of
my own background, and now I got a taste of other cultures and life styles.
I was so fascinated by the Iraqi girl that I started to
hang around a lot with her and also became friends with her friends. I became
famous as the Swedish person who had no Swedish friends. It was more of a cool
thing to me - I felt I needed to distance myself from the normal crowd.
The Muslims of my school sometimes had active
discussions about Islam and that impressed me very much. I thought, how can it
be that this religion is such an active part of their lives? It is not like
Christianity, it is alive not dead! And it has an impact on everything in
their lives.
One day when I went with my father to a second hand
market, I looked for some books and found an old translation of the Quran in
the Swedish language. I decided to buy it for historical purposes, and to gain
a greater understanding of my friends’ religion.
By now, I started to add Islamic items to my journal. I
was writing the opening Surat Al-Fatiha, and its translation. I also memorized
it. I had no motive behind doing so, I was just interested in it.
With little time, I was totally absorbed in the Quran. I
felt like I had found a real treasure. There was something drawing me to it -
something not logical, especially since this translation which I had, was
written by an Orientalist and contained a number of serious faults. The worst
thing of all was that the author pointed to supposed faults in the order in
which the verses came. He said that it was evident that some verses should
change place. Alhamdulillah (praise be to God) that I learned the truth by
asking my friend.
I went to my Iraqi friend, and told her that I was
interested in Islam. She became very shocked and felt a need to sit down or
else she would pass out! After the shock settled, she decided to take me to an
Islamic organization and there I got some books, pamphlets and the phone number
of another Swedish woman who had become Muslim.
I was afraid of what my family would say, and indeed my
mother became outraged when I told her that I wanted to become a Muslim. The
whole family searched my room and threw away my Islamic books. They said that
Islam was like a cult and that I was brainwashed.
But this did not stop me. In the month of July 2001, I
declared my shahada (testimony of faith) openly. I had called the Swedish
woman who's phone number I had been given, and she arranged Islamic lessons in
her home. I went to her villa, which had a garden, and we prayed the zhuhr
(forenoon) prayer there in the open air. For me this was a symbolical act,
because in my society it is something not appreciated to show acts of worship
openly. I felt so free and could care less about what other people would
think.
It was with a loud and proud voice by which I said the
words which undoubtedly has had the strongest impact on my entire life:
Ashhadu an laa ilaaha illa Allah, wa
ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasool Allah
I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship
save God;
And I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of God.
No other single sentence has influenced me as this one
has.
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