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Gerda, Ex-Christian, Lithuania
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Description: Growing up a Christian, Gerda has firm belief in God and see His works throughout life, but still is not satisfied, until she finds Islam.
By Gerda
Published on 09 Jun 2008 - Last modified on 18 Jun 2008
Viewed: 7289 (daily average: 4) - Rating: 4.6 out of 5 - Rated by: 35
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Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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I am from a little Eastern European country called
Lithuania where Christianity is the dominant religion, and where a baby in his
first days in the world is made a Christian. I‘ve never been an atheist, but I
never called myself a good Christian. It was the time when I was going to the
church every Sunday, not just for prayer, but to help the priest and to sing in
the church choir that I had God in my heart the most, even though I would ask
my parents why they baptized me without asking me if I would like to be a
Christian or not.
All my life, as I remember, I couldn’t be a good
Christian, and I couldn’t understand the meaning of the Christian religion.
But I was looking for meaning. I would read a lot of books about Christianity,
while continuously asking the priest for help. I could say that I felt and I
believed that “Somebody’s” watching over me, but I could not call myself
Christian.
Life without God Almighty’s guidance was difficult,
scary, and lonely wherever I went. I was looking for God all the time, and yet
I felt that He was so close to me. I was feeling God’s help all the time with
me; I felt like He was talking to me. I saw how He was taking care of me and
letting me find the way of life that He had already chosen for me. I was trying
to understand a lot of signs that he was sending me daily almost like He was
speaking to me.
I am the second child in my family, and my mother’s
delivery pains with me were much harder than with her first baby. I was very
lucky to survive the delivery, and I believe God saved my life. After two
really serious accidents later in my life, which people said that nobody could
possibly survive after, I started to really appreciate my life. I felt how
fragile human life is and that only God knows how long I will live.
God let me trust Him every minute of my life and this
helped me to enjoy my life even when I was sick or feeling bad. I know that
God is giving us everything, wanting us to appreciate Him, so we will
understand that He is doing it just for us.
I had a car accident right after my graduation exams,
and I was told to stay in a bed for no less than six weeks. I could only move
my head and arms, but with God’s help I nonetheless finished my school and
enrolled in university while still lying in bed. Even my doctor couldn’t
believe that I accomplished that much! Most people would be screaming with
pain or asking for a pill to make them sleep. It couldn’t just be luck - it
was a miracle from God for sure. After this, my faith increased but “SomeOne”
still kept me away from church. I can now understand what was going on - for
me, church wasn’t the way to God.
True understanding of God, what I had been wanting for
so long and which would be my only way to real happiness through the calmness
of my soul, I found through my husband. How we met each other was one of God’s
miracles too. In the beginning, we never talked about religion, and we never
had disagreements about it. One day, when I was in a really happy mood because
I had just met an old friend, he (in that time we still weren’t married) told
me that he wanted to give me the best thing in his life - faith. God put the
correct words on his lips that day, and I was really interested to hear what he
had to say about the Holy Quran, about miracles written in it, and about the
meanings of every motion of his body while he prayed. Though it was just one
conversation about the topic, it was enough to make me read as many books as I
could get my hands on. With every book, with every page, I started to
understand what I was missing in my life, that is, what I had been looking for
all those years when I was asking priests for answers. Books would talk to me
- God was talking to me through books. I found answers to a lot of questions;
I found calmness in my soul while those around me were still searching.
I became Muslim just a few months ago, and it’s amazing
to feel the miracle of a rebirth in faith. God loved me so much that He let me
be born again though I was already 21 years old, an age when I was able to
appreciate His amazing gift. Now I am a Muslim. Nobody can believe how
different it is to be Muslim!
God made me see the sun in a different way than I used
to see it when I was a Christian. The sun has a different meaning for me now.
I know that this sunshine that God is sending to us everyday is His way of
showing us how much He cares about us, how much He loves us. Because of His mercy,
we do not feel cold, and we can see the world in many colors. God created
night in order to show us how amazing His light is. He made us trust Him that
after a cold and dark night, He will bring forth a nice, fresh morning. In
this way, God is showing us signs. He gave us eyes to see His words in every
miracle.
I’m so happy and thankful for God’s gift to see this
world anew - to finally appreciate my life. He gave me a new and fresh light
in my life, and now I can see His signs all around me in a different way.
Everything I do, everywhere I go, God is saying welcome to me. In miracles
that He is showing me, I see that I’m on the right way, that He is with me (in
His Knowledge). The world didn’t change in one day, it didn’t even change in
21 years. All that has changed is the quality of my life when true
understanding of God came into my heart.
I wish the whole world would change too. Now people are
angry and tired of looking for calmness through worldly success. They are
tired of hating each other, and of being jealous of one another. Nations try
to survive by fighting each other; countries try to live in peace but cannot
stay without war. Each day, the world is sinking deeper and deeper down. The
only way to stop it is to make Islam the way of life of humanity. With love
and knowledge of God in everybody’s heart, we will find and enjoy the life that
we are now just dreaming about. We will build an optimistic future for our
children; we will not be scared to meet each other and live as a single
humanity.
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