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His name was Abdulaziz Alshaikh, and he made the
time. He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made
me feel silly or that a question was stupid. He asked me if I believed there
was only one God and I said yes. Then he asked if I believed Mohammed, may God
praise him, was His Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was
already a Muslim!
I argued that I was Christian, I was just trying
to understand Islam. (Inside I was thinking: I couldn’t be a Muslim! I was
American and white! What would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I will have to
divorce my husband. My family would die!)
We continued talking. Later, he explained that
attaining knowledge and understanding of spirituality was a little like
climbing a ladder. If you climb a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there
was danger of falling. The Shahadah was just the first step on the ladder. Still
we had to talk some more.
Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at Asr’, I
took Shahadah. However, there were still some things I could not accept, and
it was my nature to be completely truthful, so I added a disclaimer. I said: “I
bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger” ‘but,
I will never cover my hair and if my husband takes another wife, I will
castrate him.’
I heard gasps from the other men in the room,
but Abdulaziz silenced them. Later I learned that he told the brothers never
to discuss those two subjects with me. He was sure I would come to the correct
understanding.
The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the
ladder to spiritual knowledge and closeness to God. But it has been a slow
climb. Abdulaziz continued to visit me and answer my questions. May God
reward him for his patience and tolerance. He never admonished me or acted
like a question was stupid or silly. He treated each question with dignity and
told me that the only stupid question was the one never asked. Hmmm... my
grandmother used to say that.
He explained that God had told us to seek
knowledge, and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he
explained something, it was like watching a rose open - petal by petal, until
it reached its full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with something
and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. The he would show me how
to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fuller understanding. Alhamdulillah
[To God is all praise]!
Over the years, I had many teachers. Each one
special, each one different. I am thankful for each one of them and the
knowledge they gave. Each teacher helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As
my knowledge increased, the changes in me became more apparent. Within the
first year, I was wearing hijab. I have no idea when I started. It came
naturally, with increased knowledge and understanding. In time, I even came to
be a proponent of polygamy. I knew that if God had allowed it, there had to be
something good in it.
“Glorify the name of thy Guardian - Lord
Most High, Who hath created, and further, given order and proportion; Who hath
measured, and granted guidance; and Who bringeth out the (green and lush)
pasture, and doth make it (but) swarthy stubble, We shall make you to recite (the
Quran), so do not forget, except as God wills: for He knoweth what is manifest
and what is hidden. And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple
(path).” (Quran 87:1-8)
When I first started to study Islam, I did not
expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little
did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced
me that I would finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because
of Islam.
This book spoke of THE ONE GOD, THE CREATOR OF
THE UNIVERSE. It described the beautiful way in which He had organized the
world. This wondrous Quran had all the answers. God is The Loving! God is
the Source of Peace! God is the Protector! God is the Forgiver! God is the
Provider! God is the Maintainer! God is the Generous One! God is the
Responsive! God is the Protecting Friend! God is the Expander!
“Have we not expanded thee thy breast? And
removed from thee thy burden the which did gall thy back? And raised high the
esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is
relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief!” (Quran 94:1-6)
The Quran addressed all the issues of existence
and showed a clear path to success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner
manual for life!
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