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Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 4)
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Description: Ending up in a theatre class filled with heathen Arabs, Aminah is bent upon saving them from Hell.
By Aminah Assilmi
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 13 Aug 2006
Viewed: 6790 - Rating: 5 from 5 - Rated by: 4
Printed: 355 - Emailed: 6 - Commented on: 1
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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I was completing a degree in Recreation when I
met my first Muslims. It was the first year that we had been able to
pre-register by computer. I pre-registered and went to Oklahoma to take care
of some family business. The business took longer than expected, so I returned
to school two weeks into the semester (too late to drop a course).
I wasn’t worried about catching up my missed
work. I was sitting at the top of my class in my field. Even as a student, I
was winning awards in competition with professionals.
Now you need to understand that while I was
attending college and excelling, ran my own business, and had many close
friends, I was extremely shy. My transcripts actually had me listed as
severely reticent. I was very slow to get to know people and rarely spoke to
anyone unless was forced to or already knew them. The classes I were taking had
to do with administration and city planning, plus programming for children. Children
were the only people I ever felt comfortable with.
Well, back to the story. The computer printout
held one enormous surprise for me. I was registered for a Theatre class...a
class were I would be required to perform in front of real live people. I was
horrified! I could not even ask a question in class, how was I going to get on
a stage in front of people? My husband was his usual very calm and sensible
self. He suggested that I talk to the teacher, explain the problem, and
arrange to paint scenery or sew costumes. The teacher agreed to try and find a
way to help me out. So I went to class the following Tuesday.
When I entered the classroom, I received my
second shock. The class was full of ‘Arabs’ and ‘camel jockeys.’ Well, I had
never seen one but I had heard of them.
There was no way I was going to sit in a room
full of dirty heathens! After all, you could catch some dreadful disease from
those people. Everyone knew they were dirty, not to be trusted either. I shut
the door and went home. (Now, there is one little thing you should know. I
had on a pair of leather hot pants, a halter top, and a glass of wine in my
hands...but they were the bad ones in my mind.)
When I told my husband about the Arabs in the
class, and that there was no way I was going back, he responded in his usual
calm way. He reminded that I was always claiming that God had a reason for
everything, and maybe I should spend some time thinking about it before I made
my final decision. He also reminded me that I had a scholar’s award that was
paying my tuition, and if I wanted to keep it, I would have to maintain my
G.P.A.. Three credit hours of ‘F’ would have destroyed my chances.
For the next two days, I prayed for guidance. On
Thursday I went back to the class convinced that God had put me there to save
those poor ignorant heathens from the fires of hell.
I proceeded to explain to them how they would
burn in the fires of hell for all eternity if they did not accept Jesus as
their personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I
explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from
their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their hearts. They were
very polite, but still did not convert. So, I decided to read their own book
to show them that Islam was a false religion and Mohammed was a false God.
One of the students gave me a copy of the Quran
and another book about Islam, and I proceeded with my research. I was sure I
would find the evidence I needed very quickly. Well, I read the Quran and the
other book. Then I read another 15 books, Sahih Muslim and returned to the Quran.
I was determined I would convert them! My studies continued for the next one
and half years.
During that time, I started having a few
problems with my husband. I was changing, just in little ways but enough to
bother him. We used to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party,
and I no longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant. He was sure I
was having an affair, so he kicked me out. I moved into an apartment with my
children and continued my determined efforts to convert the Muslims to
Christianity.
Then, one day, there was a knock on my door. I
opened the door and saw a man in a long white night gown with a red and white
checkered table cloth on his head. He was accompanied by three men in pajamas.
(It was the first time I had ever seen their cultural dress.) Well, I was more
than a little offended by men showing up at my door in night clothes. What
kind of a woman did they think I was? Had they no pride or dignity? Imagine
my shock when the one wearing the table cloth said he understood I wanted to be
a Muslim! I quickly informed him I did not want to be a Muslim. I was
Christian. However, I did have a few questions. If he had the time....
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Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 2 of 4)
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Description: After discussing Islam with a faithful Muslim, she accepts Islam, but with her own conditions!
By Aminah Assilmi
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Viewed: 5815 - Rating: 4.2 from 5 - Rated by: 9
Printed: 328 - Emailed: 5 - Commented on: 0
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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His name was Abdulaziz Alshaikh, and he made the
time. He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made
me feel silly or that a question was stupid. He asked me if I believed there
was only one God and I said yes. Then he asked if I believed Mohammed, may God
praise him, was His Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was
already a Muslim!
I argued that I was Christian, I was just trying
to understand Islam. (Inside I was thinking: I couldn’t be a Muslim! I was
American and white! What would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I will have to
divorce my husband. My family would die!)
We continued talking. Later, he explained that
attaining knowledge and understanding of spirituality was a little like
climbing a ladder. If you climb a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there
was danger of falling. The Shahadah was just the first step on the ladder. Still
we had to talk some more.
Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at Asr’, I
took Shahadah. However, there were still some things I could not accept, and
it was my nature to be completely truthful, so I added a disclaimer. I said: “I
bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger” ‘but,
I will never cover my hair and if my husband takes another wife, I will
castrate him.’
I heard gasps from the other men in the room,
but Abdulaziz silenced them. Later I learned that he told the brothers never
to discuss those two subjects with me. He was sure I would come to the correct
understanding.
The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the
ladder to spiritual knowledge and closeness to God. But it has been a slow
climb. Abdulaziz continued to visit me and answer my questions. May God
reward him for his patience and tolerance. He never admonished me or acted
like a question was stupid or silly. He treated each question with dignity and
told me that the only stupid question was the one never asked. Hmmm... my
grandmother used to say that.
He explained that God had told us to seek
knowledge, and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he
explained something, it was like watching a rose open - petal by petal, until
it reached its full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with something
and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. The he would show me how
to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fuller understanding. Alhamdulillah
[To God is all praise]!
Over the years, I had many teachers. Each one
special, each one different. I am thankful for each one of them and the
knowledge they gave. Each teacher helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As
my knowledge increased, the changes in me became more apparent. Within the
first year, I was wearing hijab. I have no idea when I started. It came
naturally, with increased knowledge and understanding. In time, I even came to
be a proponent of polygamy. I knew that if God had allowed it, there had to be
something good in it.
“Glorify the name of thy Guardian - Lord
Most High, Who hath created, and further, given order and proportion; Who hath
measured, and granted guidance; and Who bringeth out the (green and lush)
pasture, and doth make it (but) swarthy stubble, We shall make you to recite (the
Quran), so do not forget, except as God wills: for He knoweth what is manifest
and what is hidden. And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple
(path).” (Quran 87:1-8)
When I first started to study Islam, I did not
expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little
did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced
me that I would finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because
of Islam.
This book spoke of THE ONE GOD, THE CREATOR OF
THE UNIVERSE. It described the beautiful way in which He had organized the
world. This wondrous Quran had all the answers. God is The Loving! God is
the Source of Peace! God is the Protector! God is the Forgiver! God is the
Provider! God is the Maintainer! God is the Generous One! God is the
Responsive! God is the Protecting Friend! God is the Expander!
“Have we not expanded thee thy breast? And
removed from thee thy burden the which did gall thy back? And raised high the
esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is
relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief!” (Quran 94:1-6)
The Quran addressed all the issues of existence
and showed a clear path to success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner
manual for life!
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Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 3 of 4)
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Description: Ameenah discusses the various trials she faced after accepting Islam, from having her children taken away from her to losing all friends and family.
By Aminah Assilmi
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Viewed: 5682 - Rating: 3.7 from 5 - Rated by: 6
Printed: 414 - Emailed: 5 - Commented on: 1
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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How Islam changed my Life
“How much more we love the light...If once
we lived in Darkness.”
When I first embraced Islam, I really did not
think it was going to affect my life very much. Islam did not just affect my
life. It totally changed it.
Family life: My husband and I loved each other
very deeply. That love for each other still exists. Still, when I started
studying Islam, we started having some difficulties. He saw me changing and
did not understand what was happening. Neither did I. But then, I did not
even realize I was changing. He decided that the only thing that could make me
change was another man. There was no way to make him understand what was
changing me because I did not know.
After I realized that I was a Muslim, it did not
help matters. After all...the only reason a woman changes something as
fundamental as her religion is another man. He could not find evidence of this
other man...but he had to exist. We ended up in a very ugly divorce. The
courts determined that the unorthodox religion would be detrimental to the
development of my children. So they were removed from my custody.
During the divorce, there was a time when I was
told I could make a choice. I could renounce this religion and leave with my
children, or renounce my children and leave with my religion. I was in shock.
To me this was not a possible choice. If I renounce my Islam....I would be
teaching my children how to be deceptive, for there was no way to deny what was
in my heart. I could not deny God, not then, not ever. I prayed like I had
never prayed before. After the thirty minutes was up, I knew that there was no
safer place for my children to be than in the hands of God. If I denied him,
there would be no way in the future to show my children the wonders of being
with God. The courts were told that I would leave my children in the hands of God.
This was not a rejection of my children!
I left the courts knowing that life without my
babies would be very difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I
had done the right thing. I found solace in Ayat-ul-Kursi.
“God! There is no god but He - the Living,
the Self-subsisting, Supporter of all. No slumber can seize him nor sleep. His
are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His
presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures
as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His
knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and
the earth, and he feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for He is
Most High, The Supreme (in Glory).” (Quran 2:255)
This also got me started looking at all the
attributes of God and discovering the beauty of each one.
Child custody and divorce were not the only
problems I was to face. The rest of my family was not very accepting of my
choice either. Most of the family refused to have anything to do with me. My
mother was of the belief that it was just a phase and I would grow out of it. My
sister, the ‘mental health expert’ was sure I had simply lost my mind and should
be institutionalized. My father believed I should be killed before I placed
myself deeper in Hell. Suddenly I found myself with no husband and no family.
What would be next?
Friends: Most of my friends drifted away during
that first year. I was no fun anymore. I did not want to go to parties or
bars. I was not interested in finding a boyfriend. All I ever did was read
that ‘stupid’ book (the Quran) and talk about Islam. What a bore. I still did
not have enough knowledge to help them understand why Islam was so beautiful.
Employment: My job was next to go. While I had
won just about every award there was in my field and was recognized as a
serious trend setter and money maker, the day I put on hijab, was the end of my
job. Now I was without a family, without friends and without a job.
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Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 4 of 4)
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Description: “True, God has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded me far beyond what I could ever have hoped for.”
By Aminah Assilmi
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Viewed: 5829 - Rating: 4.9 from 5 - Rated by: 31
Printed: 339 - Emailed: 30 - Commented on: 7
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
|
|
In all this, the first light was my grandmother.
She approved of my choice and joined me. What a surprise! I always knew she
had alot of wisdom, but this! She died soon after that. When I stop to think
about it, I almost get jealous. The day she pronounced Shahadah, all her
misdeeds had been erased, while her good deeds were preserved. She died so
soon after accepting Islam that I knew her ‘BOOK’ was bound to be heavy on the
good side. It fills me with such joy!
As my knowledge grew and I was better able to
answer questions, many things changed. But, it was the changes made in me as a
person that had the greatest impact. A few years after I went public with my
Islam, my mother called me and said she did not know what this ‘Islam thing’
was, but she hoped I would stay with it. She liked what it was doing for me. A
couple of years after that she called again and asked what a person had to do
to be a Muslim. I told her that all person had to do was know that there was
only ONE God and Mohammed was His Messenger. Her response was: “Any fool knows
that. But what do you have to do?” I repeated the same information and she
said: “Well...OK. But let’s not tell your father just yet.”
Little did she know that he had gone through the
same conversation a few weeks before that. My real father (the one who thought
I should be killed) had done it almost two months earlier. Then, my sister,
the mental health person, she told me that I was the most ‘liberated’ person
she knew. Coming from her that was the greatest compliment I could have received.
Rather than try to tell you about how each
person came to accept Islam, let me simply say that more members of my family
continue to find Islam every year. I was especially happy when a dear friend,
Brother Qaiser Imam, told me that my ex-husband took Shahdah. When Brother
Qaiser asked him why, he said it was because he had been watching me for 16
years and he wanted his daughter to have what I had. He came and asked me to
forgive him for all he had done. I had forgiven him long before that.
Now my oldest son, Whitney, has called, as I am
writing this book, and announced that he also wants to become Muslim. He plans
on taking the Shahadah as the ISNA Convention in a couple of weeks. For now,
he is learning as much as he can. God is The Most Merciful.
Over the years, I have come to be known for my
talks on Islam, and many listeners have chosen to be Muslim. My inner peace
has continued to increase with my knowledge and confidence in the Wisdom of God.
I know that God is not only my Creator but, my dearest friend. I know that God
will always be there and will never reject me. For every step I take toward God,
He takes 10 toward me. What a wonderful knowledge.
True, God has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded
me far beyond what I could ever have hoped for. A few years ago, the doctors
told me I had cancer and it was terminal. They explained that there was no
cure, it was too far advanced, and proceeded to help prepare me for my death by
explaining how the disease would progress. I had maybe one year left to live.
I was concerned about my children, especially my youngest. Who would take care
of him? Still I was not depressed. We must all die. I was confident that the
pain I was experiencing contained Blessings.
I remembered a good friend, Kareem Al-Misawi,
who died of cancer when he was still in his 20’s. Shortly before he died, he
told me that God was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and
radiating with God’s love. He said: “God intends that I should enter heaven
with a clean book.” His death experience gave me something to think about. He
taught me of God’s love and mercy. This was something no one else had ever
really discussed. God’s love!
I did not take me long to start being aware of
His blessings. Friends who loved me came out of nowhere. I was given the gift
of making Hag. Even more importantly, I learned how very important it was for
me to share the Truth of Islam with everyone. It did not matter if people,
Muslim or not, agreed with me or even liked me. The only approval I needed was
from God. The only love I needed was from God. Yet, I discovered more and
more people, who for no apparent reason, loved me. I rejoiced, for I
remembered reading that if God loves you, He causes others to love you. I am
not worthy of all the love. That means it must be another gift from God. God
is the Greatest!
There is no way to fully explain how my life
changed. Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to God)! I am so very glad that I
am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is the beat of my heart. Islam is the
blood that courses through my veins. Islam is my strength. Islam is my life
so wonderful and beautiful. Without Islam, I am nothing, and should God ever
turn His magnificent face from me, I could not survive.
“O God! let my heart have light, and my
sight have light, and my hearing (senses) have light, and let me have light on
my right, and let me have light on my left, and let me have light above me, and
have light under me, and have light in front of me, and have light behind me;
and let me have light.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
“Oh my Lord! Forgive my sins and my
ignorance and my exceeding the limits (boundaries of righteousness) in all my
deeds and what you know better than I. O God! Forgive my mistakes, those done
intentionally or out of my ignorance or (without) or with seriousness, and I
confess that all such mistakes are done by me. Oh God! Forgive my sins of the
past and of the future which I did openly or secretly. You are the One who
makes the things go before, and You are the One who delays them, and You are
the Omnipotent.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
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