My hands shook more and more and my face sweated. I felt a chill in every part of my body. I was amazed by this sensation. I had listened to the Noble Quran often in the streets, on TV and radio and at my Muslim friends’ houses, but I had never felt such a feeling before. I wanted to go on reading but stopped on hearing the sound of my husband’s key opening the door of the apartment. I quickly hid the Holy Quran and hastened to meet my husband. The next day, I went to work with a huge number of questions in my mind. The verse which I read put an end to the disturbing doubt about the nature of Jesus, peace be upon him. Is he God’s son, as claimed by priests?!! – Glorified is God (High be He) above all that (evil) they associate with Him! – or a dignified prophet as described in the Quran? The verse came to lift the fog declaring that Jesus, peace be upon him, is a human being. Therefore, he is not God’s son; because the Almighty God:
"He begets not, nor He was begotten. And there is none co-equal or comparable to him." (Quran 12:3-4)
I thought deeply about the out let after knowing the eternal truth that there is no God worthy of worship except God and that Mohammed is His messenger. Could I declare my adoption of Islam? What would be the reaction and attitude of my relatives and husband? Furthermore, what would be the future of my children?! These questions preoccupied my mind so much that I could hardly do my work. Taking the first step would perhaps expose me to great dangers, the least of them being killed by my relatives, husband or church.
For weeks, I kept away from the people. My colleagues used to see me as an active employee. Since the day in which I opened the Noble Quran, I could hardly do my work. Eventually, the anticipated day came. On that day, I got rid of all doubts and fears and went from the darkness of disbelief to the light of faith. While I was sitting at work that day thinking about what I had determined to do, I heard the caller for the prayer inviting Muslims to meet their Lord and perform the Dhuhr prayer. The caller’s voice penetrated my soul thoroughly. I felt the spiritual relief I was searching for. At that moment, I realized the gravity of my sin of disbelief, ignoring the great call of Iman (faith) inside me. And so without hesitation, I stood up declaring: "I bear witness that there is no God worthy of worship except God and that Mohammed is His messenger".
Completely astonished, my colleagues rushed to me with tears of happiness on their cheeks to congratulate me. My response was to burst into tears, asking God to forgive me and to be pleased with me. The news spread everywhere in the General Office of the Governorate. When my Christian colleagues heard the news, they voluntarily informed my family and husband. They also began to spread rumors around me concerning the direct reasons of my decision. I paid no attention to this. The most important thing for me was to announce my Islam officially. I went to the Headquarters of the Police and finished the matter officially (as one who converts to Islam does in Egypt). I went back home to find out that as soon as my husband heard the news, he gathered his relatives and burnt all my clothes and seized whatever money, jewelry and furniture I had. That hurt me. But what hurt me more was him keeping my children away from me. He did so to force me back to the darkness of infidelity. I felt really sorry about my children and feared that if they were going to be brought up inside churches believing in trinity, they would end up in the Hellfire with their father.
I made a supplication for God to get my children back to me so that I could bring them up Islamicly. God answered me. A Muslim gentleman showed me how to claim custody of my children. I went to the court putting the case in front of the judge and introduced my certification of declaring Islam. The court supported the truth. The judge officially invited my husband and gave him these two choices: Either to accept Islam or the marital status between us would end up according to the Islamic legislation: It is not allowed for a Muslim female to get married to a Non- Muslim male. My husband arrogantly chose not to accept the true religion. As a result, the judge made his statement to separate us and gave me the right to the custody of my children. In such case when the children are under the age of reason, the law appoints the Muslim parent as a custodian.
I thought that my problems came to an end. Yet, I was annoyed by the maltreatment of my ex-husband and relatives. They began to spread rumors to destroy my self-confidence and defame me. They also tried to convince other Muslim families not to help or socialize with me. Despite all these annoying circumstances, I remained strong, adhering to my faith and overcoming every trial to move from the true religion. I raised my hands in supplication to God, The Owner of the Earth and the Heaven, to grant me the power to face this hardship and to ease my life. God, The Near, the most Generous, answered me. A Muslim widow who had four daughters and a son sympathized with me and admired my brave attitude. Although she was poor, she had a great character and offered me her only son, Mohammed, who became a widow after his wife’s death in marriage.
I live happily today with my Muslim husband, his family and my children. In spite of the hard life we lead, we feel content, satisfied and happy. My ex-husband’s grudge and the hostility of my Christian family didn’t prevent me from making continual supplication to God to guide them to the right religion and to shower them with His mercy as He, The Almighty, did with me.
"And for God that is not hard or difficult." (Quran 14:20)
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