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Noor, Ex-Hindu, UK (part 1 of 2)
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Description: Pondering the status of women in today’s society leads Noor to accept Islam.
By Noor
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 15 Oct 2006
Viewed: 7543 - Rating: 4.2 from 5 - Rated by: 11
Printed: 279 - Emailed: 7 - Commented on: 0
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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I came from a purely Hindu family where we were
always taught to regard ourselves (i.e. women) as beings who were eventually to
be married off and have children and serve the husband - whether he was kind or
not. Other than this, I found that there were a lot of things which really
oppressed women, such as:
If a woman was widowed, she would always have to
wear a white sari (costume), eat vegetarian meals, cut her hair short, and
never re-marry. The bride always had to pay the dowry (bridal money) to the
husband’s family. And the husband could ask for anything, irrespective of
whether the bride would have difficulty giving it.
Not only that, if, after marriage, she was not
able to pay the full dowry, she would be both emotionally and physically
tortured, and could end up being a victim of “kitchen death” where the husband,
or both the mother-in-law and the husband, try to set fire to the wife while
she is cooking or is in the kitchen and try to make it look like an accidental
death. More and more of these instances are taking place. The daughter of a
friend of my own father’s had the same fate last year!
In addition to all this, men in Hinduism are
treated literally as among the gods. In one of the religious Hindu
celebrations, unmarried girls pray for and worship an idol representing a
particular god (Shira) so that they may have husbands like him. Even my own
mother had asked me to do this. This made me see that the Hindu religion,
which is based on superstitions and things that have no manifest proof but were
merely traditions which oppressed women, could not be right.
Subsequently, when I came to England to study, I
thought that at least this is a country which gives equal rights to men and
women and does not oppress them. We all have the freedom to do as we like, I
thought. Well, as I started to meet people and make new friends, learn about
this new society, and go to all the places my friends went to in order to “socialize”
(bars, dance halls, etc.), I realized that this “equality” was not so true in
practice as it was in theory.
Outwardly, women were seen to be given equal
rights in education, work, and so forth, but in reality women were still
oppressed in a different, more subtle way. When I went with my friends to
those places they hung out at, I found everybody interested to talk to me, and
I thought that was normal. But it was only later that I realized how naïve I
was and recognized what these people were really looking for. I soon began to
feel uncomfortable, as if I was not myself: I had to dress in a certain way so
that people would like me, and had to talk in a certain way to please them. I
soon found that I was feeling more and more uncomfortable, less and less
myself, yet I could not get out. Everybody was saying they were enjoying
themselves, but I don’t call this enjoying.
I think women in this way of life are oppressed:
they have to dress in a certain way in order to please and appear more
appealing and also talk in a certain way so people like them. During this time,
I had not thought about Islam, even though I had some Muslim acquaintances.
But I felt I really had to do something to find something that I would be happy
and secure with and would feel respected with. Something to believe in that is
the right belief, because everybody has a belief that they live according to.
If having fun by getting off with other people is someone’s belief, they do
this. If making money is someone’s belief, they do everything to achieve
this. If they believe drinking is one way to enjoy life then they do it. But
I feel all this leads to nowhere; no one is truly satisfied, and the respect
women are looking for is diminishing in this way.
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Noor, Ex-Hindu, UK (part 2 of 2)
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Description: Noor explains how Islam has raised her status as a woman.
By Noor
- Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 01 Jul 2007
Viewed: 6079 - Rating: 4 from 5 - Rated by: 46
Printed: 281 - Emailed: 19 - Commented on: 2
Category: Articles
> Stories of New Muslims
> Women
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In these days of so called “society of equal
rights”, you are expected to have a boyfriend (or you’re weird!) and to not be
a virgin. So this is a form of oppression even though some women do not
realize it. When I came to Islam, it was obvious that I had finally found
permanent security. A religion, a belief that was so complete and clear in
every aspect of life. Many people have a misconception that Islam is an
oppressive religion, where women are covered from head to toe and are not
allowed any freedom or rights. In fact, women in Islam are given more rights,
and have been for the past 1400 years compared to the only-recently rights
given to non-Muslim women in some western and some other societies. But there
are, even now, societies where women are still oppressed, as I mentioned
earlier in relation to Hindu women.
Muslim women have the right to inheritance.
They have the right to run their own trade and business. They have the full
right to ownership, property, disposal over their wealth to which the husband
has no right. They have the right to education, a right to refuse marriage as
long as this refusal is according to reasonable and justifiable grounds. The
Quran itself, which is the Word of God, contains many verses commanding men to
be kind to their wives and stressing the rights of women. Islam gives the
right set of rules, because they are NOT made by men, but made by God; hence it
is a perfect religion.
Quite often Muslim women are asked why they are
covered from head to toe and are told that this is oppression - it is not. In
Islam, marriage is an important part of life, the making of the society.
Therefore, a woman should not go around showing herself to everybody, only for
her husband. Even the man is not allowed to show certain parts of his body to
none but his wife. In addition, God has commanded Muslim women to cover
themselves for their modesty:
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters
and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies
(when outdoors). That is most convenient that they could be known as such
(i.e. decent and chaste) and not molested.” (Quran 33:59)
If we look around at any other society, we find
that in the majority of cases, women are attacked and molested because of how
they are dressed. Another point I’d like to comment on is that the rules and
regulation laid down in Islam by God do not apply just to women but to men
also. There is no intermingling and free-running between men and women for the
benefit of both. Whatever God commands is right, wholesome, pure and
beneficial to mankind; there is no doubt about that. A verse in the Quran
explains this concept clearly:
“Say to the believing men that they should
lower their gaze and protect their private parts (i.e. from indecency, illegal
sexual acts, etc.); that will make for greater purity for them. And God is
well aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they should
lower their gaze and protect their private parts (from indecency, illegal
sexual intercourse, etc.); and that they should not display their beauty and
ornaments…” (Quran 24:31)
When I put on my hijab (veil), I was really
happy to do it. In fact, I really want to do it. When I put on the hijab, I
felt a great sense of satisfaction and happiness: satisfied that I had obeyed
God’s command, and happy with the good and blessings that come with it. I have
felt secure and protected. In fact people respect me more for it. I could
really see the difference in behavior towards me.
Finally, I’d like to say that I had accepted
Islam not blindly, or under any compulsion. In the Quran itself there is a
verse which says
“…Let there be no compulsion in religion…” (Quran
2:256)
I accepted Islam with conviction. I have seen,
been there, done that, and seen both sides of the story. I know and have
experienced what the other side is like, and I know that I have done the right
thing. Islam does not oppress women, but rather Islam liberates them and gives
them the respect they deserve. Islam is the religion God has chosen for the
whole of mankind. Those who accept it are truly liberated from the chains and
shackles of mankind, whose ruling and legislating necessitates nothing but the
oppression of one group by another and the exploitation and oppression of one
sex by the other. This is not the case of Islam which truly liberated women
and gave them an individuality not given by any other authority.
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