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_001.jpg) The prophet Muhammad was a religious and political figure
whose mission was to unite the various tribes of the Arabian peninsula specifically,
and the whole world generally, under one religion. As an example for the world
to follow, the life and decisions of the Prophet Muhammad are those from which
much benefit and wisdom may be drawn. From the time of revelation, the Prophet
lived a life under the direct supervision of the Creator. Thus he was under
protection of God from committing any error in portraying the religion and
correct way of life. His each and every action is one which ought to be
emulated, as God himself said about him:
“Indeed you are upon a high moral standard of character.”
The Prophet was a man bent upon a mission, and his
concerns were not those of other ordinary humans. For these reasons, one must look
into the reasoning why the Prophet took certain decisions during the course of
his life. Though some of them may seem easily applicable, others may be
unfamiliar to this day and age. Consequently, taking things from his life at
face value may lead one to draw false conclusions without any basis or
evidence.
One of those facets of the life of the Prophet which is
often misunderstood, or quite frankly misconstrued, is the fact that he had contracted
a number of marriages in the course of his lifetime. In order to understand
the wisdom in this, one must do a case study of the various factors which surrounded
this decision. Only then can a proper conclusion be made based upon them.
The domestic life of the Prophet can be divided into
four stages.
The First Stage
The first twenty five years of his life were a period of
celibacy. Youth is normally the stage of life when people get reckless, when the
passions stirred in adolescence run wild because self-control is not yet learnt.
Moreover, at the period of time he lived in, Arab society did not restrict sexual
relations. Yet, he led a chaste, pure life earning him the title of ‘Ameen,’
‘the trustworthy.’ A man who can control himself as a young adult is much more
likely to keep self control in old age.
The Second Stage
When he eventually married, it was not to a young
virgin, junior to him. Instead, after spending 25 celibate years, his first
wife, Khadeejah, was 40 years of age and married twice before. They stayed
happily married for twenty five years until she died, and he did not marry
anyone else during that period. After he received the first revelation, she was
the first person to believe in him as a Prophet of God. Can there be a greater
testimony than a wife fifteen years older than her husband being the first one
to believe in his calling?
He also had every reason to marry another wife while he
was married to her:
First, although she gave him three daughters, Khadeejah
did not bear him any male children who survived infancy. In a society that practiced
female infanticide due to their preference for male infants, this was indeed a
hard trial. His adversaries even jeered at him after the death of his second
son. God, however, repudiated them,
“Surely he that insults you will himself remain childless.” (Quran
108:3)
Second, he was an extraordinarily handsome man. One of
his companions described him,
‘I began to look at him and at the moon, he was
wearing a red mantle, and he appeared to be more beautiful than the moon to
me.’
Third, polygamy was widespread and socially acceptable
to women at the time. There were no social barriers preventing him from taking
another wife. He could have easily married a younger, more beautiful, woman
had he so chosen, but he did not. Furthermore, when pressured to remarry after
Khadeejah's death, he chose another widow.
Fourth, the pagans of Mecca offered him wealth,
trappings of gold and silver, leadership, and even marriage to their most
beautiful women only if he would stop preaching; but he refused. He said,
“Even if they set against me the sun on my right
and the moon on my left, I will not abandon my purpose until God grants me
success or until I die.”
Could this be the reply of a man given to the call of
his flesh, or one given to the call of God?
The Third Stage
After passing the prime of his life (physically), he contracted
marriages to more than one wife from the period 2 A.H. - 7 A.H. (623-628 CE). This
happened between the ages of 55 and 60, and all of the marriages were
contracted for unselfish reasons. These were years of wars for the nascent
Muslim nation, when Muslims had to fight in self-defense to protect their lives
and the religion. Consequently, hundreds of his companions were killed,
leaving behind widows and orphans without anyone left to care for them. Prophet
Muhammad set an example for the surviving companions to remarry the widows in
order to support them, so most of his wives were widows. If sheer lust was the
motive, the choice would not have been widows or divorcees.
The Prophet Muhammad did marry one virgin, Aisha, who
was very young. This marriage is the one that causes the most controversy
among critics who impute immorality in the character of the Prophet due to
this. He married her on the request of her father, Abu Bakr, who was his
closest and earliest follower outside the family. Abu Bakr was the first among
the companions in the Prophet's esteem, and his most trusted ally. With him he
shared the dangerous flight to Medina. Why would he gratuitously offend such
an ally by refusing his request? Aisha is also the source of much of what we
know of the Prophet's Sunnah, without which the legacy left by him would be so
much poorer. Also, the Prophet was fulfilling a commandment of God, which is
to marry those who are ready to marry as soon as they are ready. The consummation,
or full wedding (nikah), was three years after the contractual arrangement (engagement),
when she was fully mature. As a child, she lived in her father's house, where
Muhammad would visit, often joining in with her play with dolls.
Another reason behind his marriages was to cement
alliances. By marrying into the families of key allies and vanquished enemies,
he laid the ground work for cooperation between Muslims of different tribes. None
of the wives the Prophet married after Aisha compared with her in youth,
intelligence or desire to learn, but all of them contributed in other ways to
the stability of the Muslim nation. Such a man was a master, not slave, of his
passions. His marriages point to farsighted planning and compassionate
interest. If it was not for this compassion, he would have definitely have
chosen, besides Aisha, others similar to her rather than widows or divorcees to
be his wives!
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